The mismanagement of anger is the REAL cause of most relationship difficulties.
Here, check this out!
Do you find yourself arguing, fighting or contending with your partner?
Do you lash out or get sarcastic with your partner?
Do you find yourself feeling more and more disconnected from one another?
Do you find yourself complaining or blaming your partner?
Do you find yourself thinking that there is something wrong with you?
Do you find that sex is waning in your relationship?
Do you find yourself trying to please your partner but often feel like you are failing?
Do you ever think the only thing wrong with your relationship is your PARTNER?
These are ALL symptoms of the mismanagement of anger.
One of the MOST famous researchers of couples is John Gottman. Perhaps you have heard of his ability to predict couple separation based on what he called the “four horseman of the apocalypse" (p.125). He suggests that there are four behaviors that are destructive to a relationship; ...
I mean, I was not surprised at the findings; I was surprised that it was studied in the first place. I come across some research that examined the role of humility in relationship satisfaction & commitment.
They found that “perceptions of humility were positively related to relationship outcomes (i.e., relationship satisfaction and forgiveness)…”
So how does this work? Well, according to another researcher, Davis et al. (2013) suggested that, “…when people see their partners acting unselfishly and in other-oriented ways, they view them as more humble, which leads them to see the relationship as a better investment, which causes greater commitment and relationship satisfaction.” (p.14)
I caution you, this is NOT a suggestion of a strategy for relationship improvement! This is actually an opportunity and an invitation for your growth and evolution.