Thoughts...

Are You Worth it?

Many men don’t comprehend the idea of investing in themselves, except in contexts that potentially improve their status. 

A bigger/better place to live, clothing, vacations, gym memberships, education that will potentially increase any or all of the 3 p’s.

 

But when it comes to investing time, energy and money in their own personal growth and development or the well being of their relationships, they often don’t see the value of that.  Men tend not to be socialized to value themselves but tend to associate their value based on what they can achieve.  This leaves men on an endless path of constantly trying to prove their worth.

Perhaps it’s time to reconsider this orientation! 

Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019

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Running Away!

I was running away from home. I had had enough! I was tired of the constant rules about putting things away and cleaning up my room. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

I should say that I was only 6 years old at the time. I had a Styrofoam barrel filled with pennies. That would be enough money, I thought to myself. As I began to pack my belongings, my mother came into my bedroom. 

She sat quietly and gently asked where I was going? I told her proudly, “I am running away.” “Where will you go?" she asked quietly? I had not thought that far in advance. “I don’t know,” I said. “Would you like me to help you pack?” she asked ever so gently. “OK,” I said.

As she helped me pack, she said, “I’m going to miss you!” I was stunned. How could I leave when I would be missed? I looked at my little suitcase, my Styrofoam barrel filled with pennies and my stuffed dog (I was not going to run away alone)....

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At goop wellness!

It was a pleasure and a privilege to be invited by goop to speak at their wellness day!  The topic was intimacy and masculinity, a topic near and dear to my heart.  I could not really recollect what I said exactly but it was of the moment for sure.  I arrived at the appointed hour and was whisked away by my handler (guide) Victoria.  She brought me to the green room and supplied me with a coffee.  Then I was sent to the GLAM squad for make up and some banter about my dewy and clear skin for a man my age.  With a touch up here and there I was mic'd up and met Elise Loehnen Fissmer, Chief content officer at goop.  We chatted ever so briefly before we were ON.  Here are some pictures of the morning. 
 

I love speaking in public.  I really do and I am very grateful for the opportunity to do so.  

Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019

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Who are you?

Our mediated curated self.  Have you noticed how much effort some people make in their social media lives?  Social media seems like a lot of pictures of hot bodies, great food, fantastic friends and amazing experiences, etc. - all a presentation of self or, more accurately, a presentation of a self-image. 

An image is not who we really are, what we really experience, what we really think and what we really feel.  It actually seems to create more distance from our most intimate experiential SELF.  This is basically the practice of the objectification of self (and consequently others).  Objectification, as a process, tends to dehumanize.  Now, I am not suggesting the banning of social media and participation in it.  What I am suggesting is spending some time with your actual self experiencing and giving some space to re-humanize!

Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019

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Dating and relationship advice from friends…

Very often, clients will share with me their challenges with dating and/or relationships.  They are often frustrated, discouraged, disappointed or even disillusioned.  They seek some relief from their suffering.  This all makes sense, but they will often reach out to friends for this relief as well.  They seek support, answers, opinions, suggestions and strategies and they may even get them, but they often add to the suffering by making things more complicated; more thoughts to think, more things to consider, more internal conflict to try and deal with.  The desire for the relief of discomfort is very understandable and makes perfect sense, but deep down this method rarely works because it does not go to the heart of the matter; the sometimes never-ending search for complete security. 

Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019

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