Brené Brown has brought shame out of the closet for everyone, through her TED talks, books and more recently, her Netflix special. Her ideas and concepts really resonate with so many. She makes great sense but ONE thing that many audience members forget is that when Dr. Brown discovered the concept of vulnerability she went for therapy and spent 8 years working on herself!
Now, there are two things I am pretty darn sure of; one is that therapy does not need to take 8 years; the other is that I am sure this was NOT some form of cognitive/behavioral therapy.
Why is this important?
Because knowing that something is a good idea or concept and resonating deeply with that idea or concept does NOT mean that it will transform your life and transcend your suffering. It would be nice if that were the case but its just not how it works.
You see, inherent in the idea of vulnerability and how it intersects with a personal sense of safety is one of the keys to accessing ones capacity for openness, exposure, accessibility, availability and connectablity.
But much is often in the way.
A history of being socialized (remember, shame is the tool for socialization) leads to a life long habituation of avoiding and triggering a series of defenses in order to protect the socialized self at the EXPENSE of your own authentic (vulnerable/open) self.
Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019