That’s how my grandmother would ask, a kind of yidlish (Yiddish/English) short hand. But already I digress! (See what happens, all of a sudden I’m Jackie Mason) Any how, this question would usually illicit a kind of grunted “gut (good) how’s by you?” If the conversation would continue, it would be about; aches, pains, medications, doctor visits, the health of everyone and anyone, births, marriages, deaths and illness. Is that everything?...Yeah…that’s about right.
Let’s not go there, I started writing this for another reason.
Think of this post like a newsletter...with some updates!
There is a lot NU and I wanted to share it with you. You see, over the summer, I have been surprisingly productive. Believe it or not, being productive is not one of my values but when I am inspired, moved, curious and creative, things happen!
Knock wood, I am doing quite well over all. Gout is 98% better, which is in totally the right direction (if you didn’t know, I had a really bad gout attack in both feet a few weeks back).
Prostate cancer is still under surveillance and is staying quiet for now. Diet is great. Oh and I stopped going to the gym and have been using these crazy heavy duty bands and LOVING IT! Body feels more integrated/connected, much more aligned with my Tai Chi practice.
Emotional and spiritual well-being are quite high and consistent despite my aches and pains…(see how I snuck that in there…LOL). THIS IS FREEDOM!
Loved by just enough, hated by some and ignored by most.
The focus of the research is on the explicit and, more importantly, implicit worldviews of urban gay men with respect to romantic/intimate enduring relationships. I know, a mouthful and probably sounds boring but it has been FASCINATING AF. But, before all that, want to express how grateful for all who were kind and candid enough to share so much with me. Thank you!
So far, there are 15 solid interviews transcribed. My academic writing coach and I are determining if that is adequate for my study, once this is determined, I will either do more interviews or jump into the analysis process.
The coding of the interviews is very exciting to me. I will be coding them based on dimensions of worldview as a established by Koltko-Rivera and then utilizing metaphor work by Lakoff and Johnson.
OMG, I am such a nerd…J. Anyhow, needless to say, I am excited and even more excited to share what I have learned.
Changes in my work: What I am adding and what I am changing
The first thing I wanted to do was build a community; a group of kindred spirits who are engaged on a path of exploration and discovery. A private space where we all could share, support and explore together. So I created a super secret space that lives on my website that is kinda like Facebook but a lot more focused and it’s free. Click here to join.
As both my research and my work continue over the summer, I wanted to create an assessment that helped individuals know what some of the most essential relational skills we need in order to connect in the context of emotional intimacy and a way of knowing where one is in relationship to them.
The assessment was originally just for my clients and they have found it extremely helpful. Then I thought, why does this have to be just for clients. It’s useful to everyone…so, with the help of my amazing friend and support, Brenda, it magically got posted on my website (its all witchcraft to me). You can click here to get the assessment.
I am starting on ONLINE MEN'S GROUP. This is super exciting. This is a group of hand picked men that will meet via Zoom on most Wednesday evenings (hopefully late enough so those on the West coast can participate).
Here you will have the opportunity to work with me in the “soul seat” (always hated the “hot seat”) as well as benefit from the work of others. In addition, some of the time will be devoted to a variety of meditation, contemplation and cultivation practices.
If you would like to get an application for the group, click here and you will get more information about the group as well as the link for the application. Click here.
So what else is NU?
The big change….(which will not impact current clients)
I have totally changed the way I work. In the very near future, I will not be offering 1-1 traditional 50-minute sessions anymore. Why not you may ask? After 31 years of working as a therapist, I have learned a thing or two. IT TAKES TOO LONG AND THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS WORKING AGAINST YOU. The issue is tipping point and then momentum.
Let me explain. You see, people’s problems, issues, challenges etc. usually don’t just crop up over night. They have had years of practice and actually have momentum.
So what can you do? It is my considered opinion that; 1) the work needs to be experiential 2) be in and OF the here and now 3) be concentrated 4) and be able to provide immediate or almost immediate feedback.
So the question became, how can I quickly, efficiently and effectively help someone identify and recognize negative patterns that impair them, constrict them and hold them back while also helping them reconnect, recover and experience deeply enough leading to a level of sufficiency that would create a tipping point and a potentiate a NEW momentum?
So that is why I decided to reconfigure my offerings from the 1-1 or 2-1 weekly thing to something more intense, transformative and FUN!
One day (for individuals) and two days (for couples) BREAKTHROUGH DAYS, that combine (“Experiential Inquiry™") and video feedback to process together in order to build and strengthen self observing, self inquiring and self reflection capacities.
1-1 sessions will only be available to those that have done the intensives.
Wow, I had no idea when I sat down to write a post it would be this long but there you have it. I am very excited about the fall and hope you are too.
So…Nu? How's by you?
Wishing you a lovely rest of the summer and here is to a great Fall!
Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019