It's Mothers day. As I check in with myself and see how I am feeling about your not being here for it, I noticed a few things; laughter, sadness, appreciation, warmth, affection and tenderness.
At first I laugh, thinking about how much you hated Mothers Day. You used to say, it was the one day a year that people took their mothers out for an “airing.” You always hated these kinds of holidays.
You found them contemptible. You felt that these sentiments should be part of everyone’s day, every day. I happen to agree.
Today, when I look deeper, I discover a tenderness, a warmth and affection in me for you and from you, a feeling of deep appreciation moves through me.
There is also sadness, there is a missing of your voice, your humor, your smile, the sparkle in your eyes and hearing you say, “ I LOVE YOU!” I can still hear it. While these thoughts and feelings pass through me pretty much daily, this Mother’s Day is very special and dear to me. It is gives me pause. I take it as an opportunity to really reflect on you, our relationship and its lasting impact.
With deep and profound appreciation for you and the forces that brought us together, I am forever grateful.
Love you mom!
Eric G. Schneider (c) 2019